I've been watching an enormous amount of broadcast television this week. Everything from daytime talk shows to syndicated reruns to "news" to prime time. And from what I can tell, this may be the drugs talking, is that there is not much entertainment to be had by a once viable medium. The fact that the internet has surpassed television broadcasts by delivering desired content to a willing audience only illustrates the many problems facing the cable conglomerates. (anyone reading this knows how I feel about Net Neutrality so I won't go into that; I'm sticking to television.) I don't give a fuck about the solutions, since I don't get paid to, so here are some problems:

Advertising Run-Time Vs. Actual Programming

Look up any given show that broadcast before the 90s on Netflix. A-Team? 53 minutes in total whilst the air-time was 1 hour on television. That's 7 minutes of commercial time for you math wizards. Cheers? 24 minutes of total content in a 30 minute airing.

Now, compare that to How I Met Your Mother that has a 30 minute slot with 21 minutes of actual content, and Arrow that has an hour slot with 42 minutes of actual content.
This means that I get sold boner pills and mid-life crisis cars more often than a commission sales representative would find reasonable. It also shows how companies have so much fucking money they don't give a fuck that advertising on television is a whole shit-ton of pointless. (http://www.superbrand.net/adsNoWork.html)



And this leads to a fucked up situation;

Desired Content Is Not Being Delivered

Firefly. That's the entire argument. I'm sure Rupert Murdoch is scratching his head in his Scrooge McDuck mountain of gold wondering why there is so much interest in that IP years after advertising proved it was a shit show. I mean, it's not like you can sell boner pills during a show that has three strong, sexy, independent women with healthy sexual appetites, right? (I mean, it worked for The Golden Girls but that had Bea Arthur AND Betty White.)

What's really sad is that attempts to bring "quality" content often result in obsolete authors, makers of Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, or, the industry favorite, reboots. I'm sure NCIS: Cool J/Robin is made with the best intentions, but I don't think they realize the entertainment is in how it's fucking Cool J and Robin! There's probably a hundred drinking games dedicated to Cool J's eyebrow trick alone.

Which brings me to;

The Dreaded Crossover Career

Hands up if you've seen David Caruso in an actual film? Off-hand I can think of Kit Kat in Hudson Hawk where he played a character who didn't talk and was aptly named because of his affinity for Kit Kats candy bars. Now reverse-Caruso™ (yes, I'm trade-marking that shit!) and add "New York" to it and you have Lieutenant Dan. Why? Because someone, whom I imagine smoking a fat cigar, decided that what works in a movie must work on a television and vice versa.



That's like me telling Trip he's a great forum leader and then asking him to go solve the drug cartel problem in Mexico. I'm sure he'd give it his best effort but that really isn't his element. There's probably a learning curve somewhere in there.

Instead of taking the Star Trek example of letting the actors participate in the writing and directing, the big networks decide to throw "fuck you" money at actors that have no business being on television. (Oscar winner Halle Berry is on a new show made by the guy who did Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. I forget his name.) Whereas participating in the programming beyond the mere "stand here, say this, don't fart" proved motivational in TNG, watching something like 24 shows just how little of fucks anyone gives after counting the zeroes on their paycheck.

In conclusion, television is a strange thing and watching it while high on meds will take you down the rabbit hole. I hope I made sense and also hope this kicks off the blog thing. Somebody go to Applebee's for me since I can't drive or even eat stomach churning food.